“You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late, before you are six or seven or eight,
to hate all the people your relatives hate, you’ve got to be carefully taught!”
From the 1949 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific
It is always interesting to trace the history of a “Family Feud”. Blood is truly thicker than water, and to paraphrase an old saying “Family – can’t live with them, and can’t live without them.” You can’t ever really get rid of your family. Even if you stop talking to them, move away or kill them off, you’re carrying the family DNA – and no matter how hard you try, you can’t run away from yourself!
And it’s not just the DNA. I was adopted as an infant, but I am so much a product of my mother’s upbringing, the DNA scarcely matters at all. I bore no physical resemblance to either of my parents, but I do carry shared family history with me, and I have brought parts of it to my own family.
Fortunately, I did not inherit the plague on the houses of the Mystic Falls Founding Families – bigotry.
My father was the original archetype for Archie Bunker – right down to the American flag pin on his lapel. My Dad never met a race or nationality that he didn’t have a “label” for – and it was never a complimentary one.
As the song in South Pacific says “You’ve got to be carefully taught.” Prejudices develop starting when we are very young – we are taught to hate. We are usually taught to hate what is different. And our teachers are usually our parents! It’s hard to resist our parents’ instruction because we have been conditioned to believe the people who love us most would only do what is best for us.
I know my father’s bigotry came from fear – and my mother did an incredible job making sure none of his prejudices rubbed off on me. (This later had the effect of me “teasing” him about it at every available opportunity! To his credit, he never got angry with me, but I know it must have stung.)
In Mystic Falls, the supernatural creatures (particularly vampires) represent any group of individuals who are or have been oppressed because they are “different” – women, black, gays, Muslims. The list, sadly, goes on and on and on. Bill Forbes and his generation represent the fears passed from generation to generation and manifested in the present day.
In the case of Bill Forbes and his daughter, Caroline, the bigotry is about an aspect of Caroline’s person-hood – now, at this point in time – that is as much a part of her as her gender. That is what makes this conflict particularly difficult. I can’t think of anything worse for a child than not having total acceptance from a parent.
Bigotry seems always to be with us. Just when you think you have eliminated it, it springs back to life. Sometimes it is an old hatred reignited.
Just as often, a new target it identified and the propaganda machine cranks up. We have only to look around us today to see it.
One thing is certain – in power struggles of any kind, there is always going to be an enemy to fight against – real or imagined. In the case of
bigotry, it is always imagined. As human beings, our similarities far outweigh our differences. Our hatred is in our minds – a matter of
perception.
But there is hope – from the new generation. Having become what their parents most fear, Caroline and Tyler represent that hope. First they had to accept themselves – their “new”selves. Then, they accepted each other with their new aspects. And finally, they have penetrated the hatred of the prior generation by confronting their mothers.
Smart choice. A mother will nearly always protect her children from harm – even – and perhaps especially – when it comes from within the family. I was absolutely certain that when Liz Forbes came into a scene between Caroline and Bill, she would come with gun drawn.
Mothers are a force of nature all their own. They usually lead from the heart, especially where family is involved. It is, therefore, particularly difficult on them when there is a family rift and they feel forced to choose sides – most can’t. Especially where her children are involved.
This is the central theme of the movie “Sophie’s Choice”, based on the book by William Styron. When it was published in 1979, I was 26 years
old and not yet a mother. But when I read the part where the choice is made, it was like a kick to the heart – that is how powerful this maternal feeling is within women. It is equally heart-rending in the film, and is an illustration of the tragedy that ensues when one is forced to make a
choice between two unendurable options.
This same situation has occurred within the Original Family. We knew from previous mythology disclosures (thank you Elijah) that Papa Original, upon discovering Mama Original’s shameful secret, killed off Klaus’ sire and his whole wolf family.
Family honor is deeply felt, and when there is a sense of betrayal, revenge is sure to follow. But relationships among family members are complex things. Among members who are close, the party perceived as the betrayer may have allies – and suddenly there is division. Some might like to stay neutral (“We are family, after all.”)
But the ones with the strongest sense of betrayal (who are usually also the ones with the most “power” to lose) often insist that everyone chose a side in order to demonstrate a show of loyalty. I am betting Mama Original was bereft. Whoever killed her, I think it was probably merciful,
for surely her heart was broken.
Despite the fact that Papa Original’s hatred of his wife’s betrayal landed squarely on the product of that betrayal – Klaus – it didn’t happen until family ties were created. And those ties run deep. Otherwise, why is Klaus carrying them all around with him? We are not quick to give up on family, even when we are hurt.
Just as Papa Original had his revenge, so did Klaus. He is feeling the same feelings that Papa did – that we all do when someone we love turns on us. Elijah had the same feelings, and wanted his own form of revenge. And we know which side Klaus’ little sister, Rebekah, chose – if not why!
Family – Betrayal – Revenge – it’s a twisted, bitter, complex mess.
And a very juicy plot-line!
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“You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught” Commentary on Ep. 303 “The End of the Affair”
by Bonnie on September 30, 2011
“You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late, before you are six or seven or eight,
to hate all the people your relatives hate, you’ve got to be carefully taught!”
From the 1949 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific
It is always interesting to trace the history of a “Family Feud”. Blood is truly thicker than water, and to paraphrase an old saying “Family – can’t live with them, and can’t live without them.” You can’t ever really get rid of your family. Even if you stop talking to them, move away or kill them off, you’re carrying the family DNA – and no matter how hard you try, you can’t run away from yourself!
And it’s not just the DNA. I was adopted as an infant, but I am so much a product of my mother’s upbringing, the DNA scarcely matters at all. I bore no physical resemblance to either of my parents, but I do carry shared family history with me, and I have brought parts of it to my own family.
Fortunately, I did not inherit the plague on the houses of the Mystic Falls Founding Families – bigotry.
My father was the original archetype for Archie Bunker – right down to the American flag pin on his lapel. My Dad never met a race or nationality that he didn’t have a “label” for – and it was never a complimentary one.
As the song in South Pacific says “You’ve got to be carefully taught.” Prejudices develop starting when we are very young – we are taught to hate. We are usually taught to hate what is different. And our teachers are usually our parents! It’s hard to resist our parents’ instruction because we have been conditioned to believe the people who love us most would only do what is best for us.
I know my father’s bigotry came from fear – and my mother did an incredible job making sure none of his prejudices rubbed off on me. (This later had the effect of me “teasing” him about it at every available opportunity! To his credit, he never got angry with me, but I know it must have stung.)
In Mystic Falls, the supernatural creatures (particularly vampires) represent any group of individuals who are or have been oppressed because they are “different” – women, black, gays, Muslims. The list, sadly, goes on and on and on. Bill Forbes and his generation represent the fears passed from generation to generation and manifested in the present day.
In the case of Bill Forbes and his daughter, Caroline, the bigotry is about an aspect of Caroline’s person-hood – now, at this point in time – that is as much a part of her as her gender. That is what makes this conflict particularly difficult. I can’t think of anything worse for a child than not having total acceptance from a parent.
Bigotry seems always to be with us. Just when you think you have eliminated it, it springs back to life. Sometimes it is an old hatred reignited.
Just as often, a new target it identified and the propaganda machine cranks up. We have only to look around us today to see it.
One thing is certain – in power struggles of any kind, there is always going to be an enemy to fight against – real or imagined. In the case of
bigotry, it is always imagined. As human beings, our similarities far outweigh our differences. Our hatred is in our minds – a matter of
perception.
But there is hope – from the new generation. Having become what their parents most fear, Caroline and Tyler represent that hope. First they had to accept themselves – their “new”selves. Then, they accepted each other with their new aspects. And finally, they have penetrated the hatred of the prior generation by confronting their mothers.
Smart choice. A mother will nearly always protect her children from harm – even – and perhaps especially – when it comes from within the family. I was absolutely certain that when Liz Forbes came into a scene between Caroline and Bill, she would come with gun drawn.
Mothers are a force of nature all their own. They usually lead from the heart, especially where family is involved. It is, therefore, particularly difficult on them when there is a family rift and they feel forced to choose sides – most can’t. Especially where her children are involved.
This is the central theme of the movie “Sophie’s Choice”, based on the book by William Styron. When it was published in 1979, I was 26 years
old and not yet a mother. But when I read the part where the choice is made, it was like a kick to the heart – that is how powerful this maternal feeling is within women. It is equally heart-rending in the film, and is an illustration of the tragedy that ensues when one is forced to make a
choice between two unendurable options.
This same situation has occurred within the Original Family. We knew from previous mythology disclosures (thank you Elijah) that Papa Original, upon discovering Mama Original’s shameful secret, killed off Klaus’ sire and his whole wolf family.
Family honor is deeply felt, and when there is a sense of betrayal, revenge is sure to follow. But relationships among family members are complex things. Among members who are close, the party perceived as the betrayer may have allies – and suddenly there is division. Some might like to stay neutral (“We are family, after all.”)
But the ones with the strongest sense of betrayal (who are usually also the ones with the most “power” to lose) often insist that everyone chose a side in order to demonstrate a show of loyalty. I am betting Mama Original was bereft. Whoever killed her, I think it was probably merciful,
for surely her heart was broken.
Despite the fact that Papa Original’s hatred of his wife’s betrayal landed squarely on the product of that betrayal – Klaus – it didn’t happen until family ties were created. And those ties run deep. Otherwise, why is Klaus carrying them all around with him? We are not quick to give up on family, even when we are hurt.
Just as Papa Original had his revenge, so did Klaus. He is feeling the same feelings that Papa did – that we all do when someone we love turns on us. Elijah had the same feelings, and wanted his own form of revenge. And we know which side Klaus’ little sister, Rebekah, chose – if not why!
Family – Betrayal – Revenge – it’s a twisted, bitter, complex mess.
And a very juicy plot-line!
Related Posts:
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